18th floor balcony
by Mistymayyoufall
Summary: FrostIron- 3 months after the Battle of New York, Tony is still trying to recover from his fall. He seeks understanding at the bottom of the next bottle, until a certain god with an eerily similar past shows up to make amends, among other things.


18th floor balcony fic

Frostiron

"_I close my eyes and I smile_

_Knowing that everything is alright_

_To the core; So close that door_

_Is this happening?_

_My breath is on your hair; I'm unaware_

_That you opened the blinds and let the city in_

_God, you held my hand_

_And we stand; Just taking in everything._

_And I knew it from the start_

_So my arms are open wide_

_Your head is on my stomach_

_And we're trying so hard not to fall asleep_

_Here we are_

_On this 18th floor balcony._

_We're both flying away._

_So we talked about moms and dads_

_About family pasts_

_Just getting to know where we came from_

_Our hearts were on display For all to see_

_I can't believe this is happening to me_

_And I raised my hand as if to show you that I was yours_

_That I was so yours for the taking_

_I'm so yours for the taking_

_That's when I felt the wind pick up_

_I grabbed the rail while choking up_

_These words to say and then you kissed me..._

_I knew it from the start_

_So my arms are open wide_

_Your head is on my stomach_

_And we're trying so hard not to fall asleep_

_Here we are On this 18th floor balcony..._

_We're both flying away._

_And I'll try to sleep_

_To keep you in my dreams_

_'til I can bring you home with me_

_I'll try to sleep And when I do I'll keep you in my... dreams_

_I knew it from the start_

_So my arms are open wide_

_Your head is on my stomach_

_And we're trying so hard not to fall asleep_

_So here we are_

_On this 18th floor balcony, yeah"_

XxXxXxXx

Tony sighed, trying to relax into his pillows, to become liquid and forget the day. However, being the one and only Tony Stark had its disadvantages. He rubbed his hand over his face, groaning, as images of the past days, weeks, and months flitted over his eyes. Tony knew what this silent film in his brain meant for him tonight; it meant not a wink of sleep. Grumbling to himself, he made his way down the hallway of Stark tower, running his fingers over the scars in the walls.

It had been three months since New York, and Tony's skull still ached from it all. The wreckage of that day included not only this tower, but the man of iron himself. After falling backwards through space into the planet he was to be protecting, a sudden epiphany had come to him. Tony always did his homework before battle, and his reading included the account of Loki's supposed demise. Having only fallen a short distance, Tony still had uncontrollable panic attacks, vicious nightmares, and lasting emotional damage. No one but the god himself could have known just how long he spent just falling through the abyss, but the thought alone had caused far more incidents than Tony would ever own up to. What would that do to a person? Apparently, killing eighty people in two days was just one side effect.

Less than a minute had been enough to destroy him, mind and soul. That one moment was the downfall of Tony Stark in a way that only Pepper Potts had seen. And boy, did she get out fast. Tony's feet paused at this thought for only a moment. _Can't really blame her, can you? _Sneered the voice in his head. _Who could possibly want an Iron Man who can't even see the suit without a panic attack? You're a pathetic excuse for a man, Stark. _Tony hated how much it sounded like his father.

His feet stumbled faster and he made it into the elevator. The button 18 was already lit, Jarvis had gotten used to the night time routine.

_Ding. _The doors slid open and Tony hobbled over to the fully stocked bar, his only haven on these sorts of nights.

Three shots of whiskey later, he found himself wandering over to the window a certain alien had thrown him out of the day that they became the same person in Tony's mind. For all their differences, through his reading Tony had discovered that their similarities were unrivaled. So many nightmares of falling ended with Loki taking his hand and guiding him to steady ground, and Tony could no longer separate that from the blue eyed alien whose long fingers had been around his neck in the very spot he was standing on now.

Stark had stopped trying to douse these thoughts in alcohol months ago. Wrong or right, gay or straight, he had given up censoring his mind when it came to Loki. He had always believed his weak spot was women, but every addict had its cure. Tony had not slept with anyone since New York, and he doubt he ever would. Just one more aspect of Tony that had died that day.

Tony turned from the window with closed eyes and a dizzy mind. The color green escaped him in that moment, as it had many others, but in the next second, green had grown tired of waiting.

"Man of Iron"

Tony started. Whirling around, he lost his footing and crashed into the chest of none other than Loki Laufreyson. The god smirked down at him as Tony stumbled backwards and attempted to gain some composure.

"I never did receive that drink" Loki practically purred as he circled Tony. He had been waiting for this moment since his escape. Once he had caught wind of the famous Tony Stark's fall, he knew where to find his other half. Something like that left a mark, and a loneliness that could only be understood by someone with matching scars.

Tony swallowed. This man had thrown him out of a goddamn window, the one three feet away, in fact. The last time tony had seen him, he was hell bent on enslaving the earth. So Tony took the only rational course of action, and poured him a shot.

"No greetings then? And here you had so many words the last time we spoke" Loki's Cheshire grin disappeared behind the glass.

"How?" Tony managed. Loki's grin grew more catlike by the second.

"They don't call me the god of lies for my looks, you know" the blue eyed wink that followed broke what was left of Stark's hesitation, bringing the old flirtatious Tony out for the first time in months.

"Then what do they call you for your looks?" He poured Loki another shot, brushing his skin as he handed it to him.

"Care to make a guess?"

Tony just shook his head and grinned. Loki's lip quirked and he downed another shot.

"So if you won't answer how, answer why?"

"Why?" Tony noted that the god looked more like a confused puppy with his head tilted like that.

Tony swallowed "Why here?"

Loki's playful demeanor vanished. His shoulders slumped slightly and he leaned on the counter for support.

"Where else is there for me? Only you, Anthony Stark, could possibly understand my actions" blue eyes pierced Tony's soul and he forgot to breathe. After a heavy silence and heavier eye contact, the lungs of Tony Stark finally got their shit together.

"The fall. I only fell for a moment... But you... How? How are you even still breathing?" he reached across the bar in wonder, placing a shaky hand on Loki's leather chest plate.

Loki grimaced bitterly at the question and tony felt the familiar thrum of anxiety under his fingertips.

Before Loki could even begin to stop himself, he collapsed against the counter, choking sobs racking his chest.

Tony froze. There was a Norse god who had tried to conquer the planet crying into his personal bar. Uncomfortably, he poured a third shot of whiskey for the ailing myth before him. He knew those sounds, they were the sounds he never let anyone else hear when he thought of that day. Carefully, he walked around the bar and placed a hand on Loki's shoulder. The long haired man lifted himself into a regal posture and took a moment to gather himself. He took the shot glass without meeting Tony's concerned glance and downed it quickly. He slammed the shot glass into the counter then stood up to face the mortal before him.

"Let me make this quite clear" he announced quite loudly, as if to an audience.

"Your Midguardian alcohol has no effect on my judgment nor my actions"

With that, the god hooked his hand around the back of Tony's neck and crashed into him. Tony stood ramrod straight and completely motionless as soft, cool lips pressed into his own. It's not that he didn't want to, because _oh god, did he_; it wasn't that he hadn't had enough to drink, because tony had made worse decisions with less alcohol; it wasn't even the thought of SHEILD and the Avengers that made him pause, it was simply shock that Loki had initiated the kiss. Tony had frozen in conviction that Loki could not possibly want him and was therefore using him to achieve an end. He ducked out of the taller man's grip with a pain in his chest, just behind the arc reactor. _No one wants damaged goods _Pepper's words ghosted through his mind.

"What is it you want, Loki?" He said, dark and defeated.

The alien beauty stepped forward, puppy dog confusion returning to his eyes.

"You... I thought that was rather clear" his dark eyebrows drew together.

Tony just shook his head.

"If you need something, just ask. You may be The God of Lies, but I am The Master of Bullshit, and I can tell when someone's playing me"

"Darling, I don't believe you can" Loki grinned, stalking forward.

"I wish to play, yes, but not with your emotions"

Tony was rooted to the spot, eyes wide. Loki stroked his face lightly, practically purring.

"I can feel your heartbeat, Stark. There's no use in denying yourself." He whispered into the genius's ear.

Tony's brain scrambled completely, every little doubt vanishing into the cool mist of Loki's breath. He swallowed hard and looked up into the icy blue eyes just centimeters from his own. _Oh fuck it_ He let out a shaky breath, then suddenly threw his arm around the god's neck and crashed into his lips.

Loki hissed in surprise before snatching Tony closer. He had waited so long for this. Carefully, he ran his silver tongue over the shorter man's bottom lip, begging for entrance. Tony only hesitated a moment, but soon neither could tell where their mouth stopped and the other's began.

Loki ran his hand up the back of Tony's shirt, then dug his nails into the tanned skin. Tony growled and nipped at the cool lips. The god hummed in contentment and lowered his lips to Tony's neck.

"Reindeer games" he gasped as he felt his shirt being pulled up. "Maybe we should move someplace more comfortable"

Loki reluctantly withdrew, afraid that Tony might have a change of heart _again._

Tony started to lead them into his private elevator, but the Asguardian would have none of that. He had to have complete control over his surroundings, even during the most intimate of moments. Breaking his contact with Tony, he walked over to the smallish couch not ten feet away. Tony sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes, until Loki began messing with his complicated suit, slowly removing it piece by piece. He practically ran to the god's side to help, eager to seem more of that beautiful pale skin.

"Patience, Stark" he chided. Tony pouted at the use of his last name, but left the matter alone.

Instead, he ducked his head into Loki's line of concentration and kissed him surprisingly sweetly. Loki's eyes fluttered shut and he quickly took over the kiss, exploring the inside of Tony's mouth. They broke this kiss just long enough for Loki to toss Stark's t-shirt halfway across the room, eliciting a naughty grin from Tony.

The more Tony tried to remove the complicated metal and leather attire, the more frustratingly affixed it seemed to be. With a roll of his eyes and a wave of is hand, the god's clothing vanished.

"Wicked" Tony was grinning like a teenage boy who had just figured out how to unhook a bra.

His eyes widened as they took it all in. Loki looked as though he was made out of pure white marble sculpted by one of the classical artists of the renaissance.

From there, everything seemed to be a blur to Tony. Maybe it was the alcohol, but more likely it was Loki's intoxicating effect on him.


End file.
